About 5 months ago, I decided to start running because I had been noticing my heart a little too much for my liking. Anytime I did any amount of physical activity (stairs, jog, walk to the fridge, lift a piece of cake), I noticed that my heart was beating a little too hard, and my pulse was seeming a little too fast. Going in to the doctor for a cold or an infection often yielded remarks like “Is your blood pressure always this high?” or “That can’t be right, let’s check that again.”
When I was in Jr/Sr high, I ran cross country for 3 years. I remember getting a physical where my blood pressure was so low they checked it twice (opposite of my more recent BP experiences). In those days, I could eat whatever I wanted with no repercussions because I was running 8 miles every day during practice. It was then that I learned the habit of eating an entire pizza all at once. But high schooler I am no longer.
I started realizing that I apparently do not have the body type to just eat what I want and not work it off. I am 28 years old, so I’m still fairly young – but I am not a kid anymore. I need to be proactive about my health. I am also not obese by any means – but if we are talking about BMI, I am solidly in the overweight category. To top it off, I have a kid (he just turned two). I need to be healthy.
So I decided to start running. And to make sure that it doesn’t disrupt my life timewise, I decided to run in the mornings, before I get ready for work. The only problem that comes up with this is my apparent inability to get up at 5 am with any consistency. I am working on it!
In any case, this is where Runkeeper comes in. It is one of many apps available out there that track your activity via GPS. If I initiate it before a run, it maps my route, tells me how long I ran, how fast I ran (on average), and how many calories I burned. This is the free version. I could pay a few bucks to get more features, but I’m not made of Runkeeper money. Are you made of Runkeeper money?
So here is my first (recorded) run, my longest run, and my most recent run.
Look at that progress! First of all, I got a shiny new Note 4 in May 2015, so the maps became much sharper since the GPS functionality of my phone was better. I promise, I didn’t cut through yards. The more accurate the GPS, the more accurate the mileage. So I started out running about a mile and a half. Now, I run usually in the area of 4-5 miles when I go. Not super fast progress – I’m not about to go run a half marathon or anything – but progress all the same. More importantly, even though I haven’t seen a very drastic weight loss (or any), I feel so much better. My legs feel stronger. I feel better (usually) about myself. My endurance is better. And, most importantly, I am not winded by common, everyday actions like walking up my front steps or chasing my son around the house. I haven’t been back to the doctor for a checkup yet, but I will soon – and I am confident (well, mostly hopeful) that I won’t get that same incredulous reaction when my blood pressure is checked.
Perhaps the best thing about Runkeeper (and other apps like it) is that it’s also a social network. I can add other people who have the app as friends, and we can compare runs. If I run with one of them, we can tag each other in the activity. That might not seem like a big deal, but running together is far better than running alone. When I run alone, I give up faster. I don’t run as far because I have no one there to hold me accountable. When I run with someone, it both keeps my mind off the horrible activity I am pushing myself through (because we are often distracting each other by talking), and it keeps me accountable because I don’t want to be the one to cut the run short (unless I really have to). Plus, every time I finish a run, my friends are notified – in this way, the app keeps me accountable by letting everyone on my list know whether I’m running or not.
It’s a great app – and I definitely recommend it. 10/10 would run again.
So I was recently tasked with writing a review of my favorite scene in a TV show / movie / whatever, and it occurred to me that I’ve already done that. This sort of thing comes up so often, in fact, that I’ve already written a post about that review. So here it is! Reposted (from a repost) from 2/5/11, slightly edited.
Enjoy.
I'd like to talk a little bit about my favorite movie, mainly because I've just recently decided (or realized) what it is. It's Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Why? Because towards the end of the movie, in the scene where they find the Jaguar Shark, there is more emotion in Bill Murray's expressionless face than I think I have ever seen on an actor's face ever. And that scene is when you (or I, I guess) realize what the movie is actually about. It's not just a quirky, dry comedy about life on the sea, and it's not just a love story, and it's not just about revenge or rescue. It's a story about a guy who just wants to be admired, like he used to. It's about a guy who just doesn't care enough about anything anymore to care about anything anymore. And then he starts to. It's about a guy who, at the end of everything he's ever had, finds a little something else to have. And then he loses it, and it's too much. Everything is too awful and beautiful and meaningful and meaningless and he can't decide which he wants to believe, because he believes everything and nothing, and he just wants the world to leave him alone for a while. Provided that it still takes care of him. And then everything breaks again. But as its breaking it's fixing everything that's been wrong with his life. And at the end, he is happy in his misery. That's what I see in Bill Murray's expressionless face at the end of that movie. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it. And if you have seen it, but don't really understand what I'm saying, you should watch it again. And if you've seen it, and you hate it, then I guess that's ok too. We just have different tastes.
Today we went to the Hesston Steam Museum in Hesston, Indiana. It was pretty cool - they have many vintage/refurbished steam engines of all kinds - trains, sawmills, cranes, and a popcorn machine (I had no idea such a thing ever existed). We took the kid for rides on some of the trains. He had fun, but got a little sick of it after a while.
Monday, May 25
Went for a run in the woods today, on a short leg of the Wabash Heritage Trail. It was super humid and gross.
Tuesday, May 26
This morning Clark decided to do some reading on his own. Reading is a full-contact sport.
Wednesday, May 27
Today I got a Surface Pro 3 to use for work. It's awesome.
Thursday, May 28
Last day of school! Some kid thinks I'm an octopus or something.
Friday, May 29
Today we took my mom to lunch at Scotty's Brewhouse to repay her for babysitting. I had a burger topped with jalapeño poutine. It was dopelicious.
Today I felt the curve of the earth. The horizon bowed at my feet.
- -
“You see that?” The old man was talking, breaking the silence in which we had until then uncomfortably existed, amongst the smells of leaky exhaust and ancient leather. “That’s where you want to be.” I looked, but couldn’t see anything important. “Up there, boy! On the wire.” He pointed. “The birds?” I had no idea what he was talking about. The light turned green. “The ones on the wire.” There was a flock of birds in the median. Most of them were on the ground, pecking and eating and jumping – busily doing bird things. Some of them, about twenty or so, had perched high above the rest on a phone line. “That’s where you want to be,” he repeated, “up outta the shit. Up where you can breathe.” I looked at my grandfather – really looked at him – and for maybe the first time in my life I saw him as the person he was. Not as an occasional giver of money and interminable stories, but as a flesh-and-blood human man. A man who had scraped and fought his entire life to live in his own tiny house in the poor part of a town that had grown up around him. A man who should own the respect I had never thought to give him. A horn sounded behind us. “Grandpa? The light’s green.” “Ah shit,” he said, and stepped on the gas – too hard. The old truck lurched, stalled, and coughed to a stop. “Go around!” he yelled, waving his hand out the window. He laughed, and looked at me. “What was I talking about?” “Birds.” “Oh yeah.” He turned the key, the engine sputtered to life and we continued on. “Birds.”
We finished the drive in a very different kind of silence than the one in which we had started.
- -
Gravity’s weight had me defeated, and the core of the earth – I could feel its heat. -Attack in Black
When I started college in 2005, I did what a lot of people who start college do: I looked at a guitar and thought “Oh yeah. I’m gonna learn me some of that.” So I learned a couple of chords from my friend Rob and decided I was a musician.
Now, what I should have been doing had I been actually serious about learning a new instrument was actually focus on learning that instrument. Instead, I focused on writing lyrics to songs I would never record or sing – because I am not a good vocalist and while I practiced guitar long enough to develop calluses on my fingers, I did not practice long enough to learn more than three chords and definitely did not practice long enough to be able to sing and play at the same time.
But I did learn enough to transition between those three chords (It might even be four)! As you can hear in the following clip:
Why I am not rich and famous, I will never know.
So guitar was evidently not my thing, nor was it going to be. Not because I was unable to learn how to play, but because I lack the motivation and discipline to learn an instrument when there are things like video games and television in this world.
I am very good at playing video games and watching television. I would enter into a television-watching contest if there was such a thing. Maybe there is. Stay tuned.
In any case, I did continue to write lyrics to songs that would never exist. Poetry was kind of my thing the first two years of college. Maybe I was kind of angsty. Maybe it was being on my own for the first time in my life. Or maybe it was because I really liked writing poetry. Who knows? I eventually grew out of it.
Whatever the reason, I have decided to share some of this potentially embarrassing writing with you, my very few readers. Keep in mind that I was very heavily influenced by bands such as Something Corporate (& Jack’s Mannequin), Dashboard Confessional, Brand New, Zox, Linkin Park, Jimmy Eat World, Copeland, etc. Please don’t judge too harshly.
Keep in mind too that these were supposed to eventually turn into songs – my friend Rob had a good singing voice, and he was the one teaching me to play guitar. I (maybe even we) had dreams of becoming a famous singing/songwriting duo someday, which were probably crushed when I decided that playing video games was way more immediately gratifying. Anyway – to the embarrassing things!
CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT (Influence level: Linkin Park) (Embarrassment Level: HIGH)
Hiding in the shadows You are all the same Dancing in the moonlight Playing twisted games
Drawn towards the perilous Burning with desire Throwing caution to the wind You fuel the darkest fire
Children of the night You were angels, angels Come into the light And rewrite your life
Sometimes I imagine That you are just a dream Slinking, sliding, slithering You make me want to scream
Running blindly through the muck I’m giddy with the fright I curse the silence of the moon You trap me with delight
Children of the night You were angels, angels Come into the light And rewrite your life
Forgotten by society You shun the modern world Living in proximity Your words are never heard
Banished to the darkness Your pain just never ends Forgotten by your family And Hated by your friends
Children of the night You were angels, angels Come into the light And rewrite your life
Not trying to be normal Not trying to fit in Looking past the darkness To see the light within
Come inside to see All the things you’ll never be Look around and you will learn When your dreams begin to burn
You call yourself my friend But your laughter never ends You are laughing with my pain But your laughter is insane
Can’t you see that I’m about to snap? Helplessly I fall into your trap You twist my words so I can’t say a thing You bind my ears so I can’t hear you sing
I step so carefully On the surface of the sea Jump above and try to dive But I fall into the sky
Can’t you see that I’m about to snap? Helplessly I fall into your trap You twist my words so I can’t say a thing You bind my ears so I can’t hear you sing
I feel your sick delight In the darkness of the night You fooled me for so long Now I find I don’t belong
My life is caving in Around the places I have been Put my mind up on a shelf And please come save me from myself
SPARKS (Influence Level: Dashboard Confessional) (Embarrassment Level: Fairly low) Still one of my favorites.
The city whirls around me Fills my head to burst The sidewalk melts and I dive in headfirst
I wake up and I’m driving Your picture on my dash I see it and I smile for what we had
The radio sings to me sadness While the full moon shines in through the glass And I want to go to sleep so bad it hurts but first I need to be sure that you’ll be there
I pull into a dark house I never want to leave The hospital bracelet hides beneath my sleeve
My thoughts lie down beside me They whisper to my heart But I can’t change how everything’s my fault
The radio sings to me sadness While the full moon shines in through the glass And I want to go to sleep so bad it hurts but first I need to be sure that you’ll be there
The city whirled about me We were spinning in the street I could feel the sparks beneath my feet
The city whirled around you You were flying through the air The last thing I remember was the smell Moonlight on the flowers Was the sight Spinning in the street Of your hair
AMNESIAC (Influence Level: Jimmy Eat World & The Calling) (Embarrassment Level: None!)
Misty Monday morning You walked out of my door Memories are slipping What do we do this for?
Cry out for an answer Helpless futility Memories are slipping This life isn’t free
I picked it up and I tried To fake your brutality But the thing you never realized The answer was always me Cry yourself to sleep tonight Look inside and you will see Your strong guilt-free exterior Is breaking at the seams And the thought of me is haunting all your dreams
Feelings buried deep Locked away forever Memories are slipping Ties you tried to sever
Living on your own You are living all alone Memories are slipping What good have you done?
Look where we are now Did you know that it would end like this? Did you know we were bound to miss? Tangled in all this bliss Like this
You are wasting time You wasted all my life Memories are slipping It serves you right
So there you have it. Some embarrassing pieces of my past. Although those last two (Sparks and Amnesiac) I actually still like quite a lot. My previously-mentioned friend Rob actually sat down and recorded a rough take of Amnesiac with guitar and vocals that I think is pretty dang good considering it was recorded in one take sometime in 2006 on some kind of potato microphone. With a little polishing and practice I think it would sound awesome.
To leave you, here’s a video of that very recording with some doodle I doodled after he recorded it.
P.S. To double-leave you, here is a short poem that was actually published (front page!) in one of the Purdue Exponent’s student literary editions, so I was fairly puffed up for a few days after that.
THE BACK OF YOUR EYELIDS
What do you see on the back of your eyelids? What do you see in your dreams? Follow a road to the back of your mind Where nothing appears as it seems; Where your unspoken secrets are living their lives And only in sleep are they free. How can a question be answered with yes? How can we answer with no? Setting a price on the weight of the world Is like standing a candle in snow. And the melting puddles of our tired lives Will steam up to the stars and glow. Have you ever really looked out the window? Have you ever looked at the scene? We’re building a bridge to the end of the world Just to fall back into the sea. And everyone’s lives are one and the same The killer, the preacher, and me.
Let's talk about alcohol. More specifically, let's talk about what I would consider to be my first drink. Of alcohol. Of something alcoholic.
Excluding, of course, the occasional glass of champagne or limoncello at family gatherings, my first drink was a glass of Bloomington's own Oliver "soft red" wine after a calculus exam. I was twenty, which is a year younger than the legal age but several years after (I am sure) many of my peers. That first glass with friends turned into a game of wine shot glass checkers with friends, which turned into a pretty amusing walk back home.
Once I had discovered that having a few drinks was in most respects very excellent, I was all about trying new ones. I had my first shot of terrible vodka (unchased because chest hair) at a party with high school friends, first beer at a similar party, probably while playing beer pong. I did not really understand the dangerous potency of liquor though, and drank far too much of it on a couple of occasions. Learning to drink when the only people around you are college students is not a great idea.
Still, having a cold beer or a well-mixed cocktail with friends (especially in the summertime) is the best. Nowadays I prefer a nice cloudy wheat beer, though most will do in a pinch. Tequila, whether by itself or in a classic margarita is my liquor of choice, with bourbon right behind. To leave you, here are a couple of my favorite cocktail/drink recipes - if you are so inclined.
Grilled Pineapple margarita Made with mezcal rather than typical tequila, this is an amazing summer cocktail. Enjoy with friends, or drink the whole dang pitcher by yourself – preferably on a beach at sunset.
Mexican mule Tequila, ginger beer, lime. Great combination.
Old fashioned I prefer to use Woodford Reserve in my Old Fashioned, but Knob Creek or Jim Beam will do just fine.
In the fall of 2006, I was starting my sophomore year of college at Purdue. It was to be a very important year for me, in several different ways – and most of those ways hinged on a couple of very important classes.
I was clearly awesome. And hella skinny.
EDCI 205 (Exploring Teaching) and EDCI 285 (Multiculturalism & Education) are two required courses for education majors at Purdue. I believe 205 is the first early field experience education students participate in although I could definitely be wrong about that. 285 basically exists to make us aware as human beings (but mostly as teachers) that we will come into contact with many different types of people, and how all these cultures will mix together in different ways but we have to teach them anyway. Or something. It was a long time ago.
The important thing about these two classes in the fall of 2006 is that they were being taught by two friends, Bruce and Sybil, who decided that instead of teaching two separate classes of the same group of students, they would just teach their sections together. I’m not sure if it was the clear enjoyment of what they were doing they brought with them every day, the in-depth discussions about our field experiences, or the frequent debates which would inevitably erupt between Bruce and members of the class who didn’t totally agree with his point of view (always fun to watch), but that class has cemented itself in my college experience.
Of course, it’s also the class where I met Mike – who I soon found out was in the Crazy Monkeys, an improv comedy group I saw during my freshman year and for some reason thought to myself “yeah, I could do that” despite having done nothing like it ever before. Becoming good friends with Mike during our time in the 205/285 led to me auditioning for and becoming a new member of The Crazy Monkeys later that semester. It is completely fair to say that my life would be absolutely different than it is now had I not met Mike and made that decision to try out. Almost all of the friends I either regularly hang out with or stay in frequent contact with came from my time in the Crazy Monkeys. To say it was a major component of my college experience is an understatement. It defined who I was and who I would become in many parts of my life, and I am very grateful for the time I had with the group. Improv is still a huge part of my life, and I am not sure what would have replaced it had I never tried it out.
But wait! The 205/285 Mash-up Bruce & Sybil Variety Hour was also the class where Mary and I met each other, and through a mutual friendship with the aforementioned Mike, became close friends. Most of our time together was doing mutual friendship things, like getting McDonalds Happy Meals or going to see comedy shows on campus. It wasn’t until the spring semester that things got real real. Bruce announced at some point during the fall that he would be teaching a different class in the spring – EDCI 490 (the title was something like “Continuing Issues of Multicultural Education”) and that we were all welcome to take it – and that it could be worth graduate credit if we didn’t have an elective slot for it to fill.
So I decided to take that class – and so did Mary. And probably nothing would have happened between us at all but for one tiny thing that happened one day. Mike maintains that he had some kind of behind-the-scenes puppet master nonsense going on – which may have been part of it, admittedly. The catalyst for what would come next, however, came one day when I got to class and saw that Mary had sat in my seat. For whatever reason, we always sat with our desks in a circle in that class – I think Bruce liked having discussions better that way – and I always sat against the back wall near an audio cabinet. There was no real reason, it was just where I sat the first day and things like that have a way of staying.
Anyway, Mary was sitting in my seat. And I said “Hey, you sat in my seat!” And she said “So just sit next to me.” And I did. And so in February 2007 we were dating, in June 2008 we were engaged, in June 2009 we were married, and in August 2013 we had a son.
I’m not sure if the content of the classes was that memorable or had any profound effect on me as a person. The field experience was just visiting a school – and having been in school all my life, it was about what I expected. Learning about different cultures is always important, but not only was I attending a fairly diverse campus, I have been brought up to be a tolerant and accepting person (or so I like to think), so it was just reinforcement of what I already practice and believe.
What really made the 205/285 important for me was who I met and where they led me. Meeting Mike and Mary took my life where it needed to go, and I would have neither the friends nor the experiences that surround me now. I would be a completely different person, and I am not confident he would be the better for it.
